Our Sweet Kaylen
December 6, 2009
We lost our sweet, beautiful Kaylen today. It was such a shock. One minute she’s seemingly happy and healthy and the next, I’m rushing her to the Vet. It just isn’t fair, but no one is ever ready for this kind of loss. I certainly wasn’t. And it just breaks my heart even more to know that Brihten and Sage are wondering where she is. My saving grace is that my husband came home last night (from tending to his Dad all week) and we were able to hold and set our girl free together. That meant as much to us as it hopefully did to Kaylen.
We’re experiencing the expected range of emotions. Anger, guilt, denial and depression – Tom and I have given each other permission to feel what we need to and in our own time. It wasn’t even two weeks ago that I was telling everyone what a gift our animals are. And that’s what I try to remember when the anger emotion takes hold.
Kaylen didn’t stay with us nearly as long as we would have liked, but she was so very devoted and we’re thankful that she found us. It seems backwards, but losing Kaylen reinforces everything that I’m grateful for. I suppose reflection is also one of the steps of grieving.
I’m grateful that my Mom was strong enough to endure the treatment that put her cancer into remission. I’m grateful that Tom’s Dad seems to be doing better after his mini-stroke. I’m grateful for my family and friends. I’m grateful for the best friend I call my husband. His health and mine. Our home, our jobs and the life we lead. It all means so much to me. And, I’m grateful that I can still come home to two dogs and two horses that make me smile with how happy they always are to see me. But there will always be that hole that any loved one leaves. We will miss you our pretty little Kaylen – our “Special K.” Thank you for sharing all that made you unique, your valuable life lessons and your unconditional love. You were truly a gift.